Kenzie’s honesty is tested, whilst Jack contemplates the life choices he has made over the recent months when an all too familiar adventurous desire returns clouding his content lifestyle.
Mind of Mike
Thinking of the Luca Guadagnino film Call Me By Your Name, I remember three extraordinary things: the beyond incredible performances from principle to supporting actors, the stunning cinematography and finally the three breathtakingly beautiful songs by Sufjan Stevens, two of which written for the film. Even as I write this entry I’m listening to a personal favourite: I Walked. Part Four: Hurting has been a tricky instalment to write; I feel in this part, our narrative is beginning to progress, especially with our characters being faced with choices to make that will no doubt lead to repercussions further into the story.
This week, I’ve definitely got my money’s worth out of my Spotify account if not for Mr Steven’s discography alone. As well as putting me in a pleasant serenity to write, one song in particular stood out to me: Should Have Known Better. Listening to the lyrics, I felt like it represented Kenzie’s current state of mind. I always knew the general background I would give the character, but the song opened my mind allowing me to write the (hopefully) powerful scene where she uses the King Peter IV monument in Liberdade Square to reflect upon her own life. To me, Kenzie is a woman who always envisioned herself being an independent free spirited being I.e. the rider, however, when faced with reality, she is in fact the restricted horse, controlled by someone else whether that is their intention or not.
The song inspired this scene. The idea that Kenzie “should have known better, to see what [she] could see, [her] black cloud, holding down [her] feelings” is Stevens’ stripping away her nativity once and for all. As she makes her way over to the car, pausing for a moment to consider her choices, the lyrics “nothing can be changed, the past is still the past, the bridge to nowhere” could not have more importance and relevance. The song also sums up the theme and title of the instalment: hurting. No matter of our age, gender, sexuality or beliefs, we all hurt. Hurting sucks. Some people intentionally hurt, some people don’t, but what makes the song that more relevant is that with hurting comes hope; a hope for something better… something that will make the hurting go away, even if only for a moment.
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